Five Cups to Fuel Your Life

Having a newborn has served as a valuable catalyst to revisit what’s most important during this phase of my life and ensure that self-care is not viewed as a luxury, but a necessity. You may have heard the sentiment of ‘filling your cup’ before. Well, through this process, I’ve defined not one, but five cups that I need to fill to maintain my health and wellbeing; keeping my energy high and allowing me to show up as the best version of myself.

The Five Cups

1. The Connection Cup: Cultivating Meaningful Relationships

In the words of Esther Perel “The quality of your relationships is the quality of your life”. Spending quality time with loved ones and engaging in meaningful conversations builds moments of genuine connection that recharge my heart and soul. It isn’t surprising given “Quality Time” is one of my top love languages. 

Relationships are the very lifeblood of human existence. It is through our relationships with others that we find love, support, and a sense of belonging. What fills my Connection cup is spending quality time with my loved ones. Be it having a deep conversation with my partner, playing with Amelie or enjoying snuggles with Eloise, those moments fill me with such joy. 

In a world moving at a frenetic pace, it's easy to trip into survival mode each day. We forget to stay connected to those relationships that mean so much to us; we forget to follow through on those things that really matter or we realise that the main topic of conversation with our significant other has been logistics. 

Consciously carving out time for relationships is key. It doesn't always have to be grand; a sweet message or a bedtime story can mean a lot. For Ben and I, we make an effort to connect at the end of each day and ask each other a simple question - what are you grateful for? 

2. The Productivity Cup: Finding Fulfillment in Achievements 

There’s a unique satisfaction that comes from being productive and achieving our goals. For me, filling the Productivity cup means tackling tasks, both big and small, and experiencing a sense of accomplishment. It’s not just about being busy but being productive in a way that aligns with my values and long-term goals.

Balancing work and play is essential. I’ve learned to prioritise my tasks, set realistic goals, and celebrate even the smallest victories. This approach helps me stay motivated and fulfilled. It’s also important to remember that productivity isn’t just about professional achievements; personal growth and hobbies count too. Whether it's reading a book, learning a new skill, or completing a DIY project, find what makes you feel productive and incorporate it into your routine.

Right now, I’m enjoying the space to lean into Your Leading Edge and other pursuits, while being conscious to enjoy this precious time with Eloise and Amelie. When I feel my Productivity Cup is full, it’s easier for me to switch off, take a break and be fully present in the other aspects of my life. 

3. The Outside Cup: Move My Body. Get Out in Nature. 

This one’s simple - get outside! Getting outside ticks so many boxes. Soaking up some sun and moving my body always feels good, and there’s a sense of accomplishment from getting outside that can top up the Productivity Cup too. 

Nature has a profound ability to rejuvenate us. Being outdoors, seeing green, and taking in fresh air can enhance our mental and physical well-being. This could be a walk up to the headland, taking Maui to the dog park, Amelie to the playground, or just sitting in my backyard and soaking in the sun. 

These moments also give me a break from my phone and help recharge me - especially on cold winter days. There’s an abundance of research that shows being amidst nature helps decrease stress, improves mood, and boosts general health. So, make sure to spend time outside, even if it is for a few minutes each day. Your body and mind will thank you.

4. The Social Cup: Embracing Joy With Others

Humans are social beings. We feed on interactions and shared experiences. Filling the social cup will mean spending time with friends and those we care about (and who care about us). One of the nice experiences of having a new bub, is that this is often the catalyst for extra catch ups. Friends who want to meet the baby, see how you’re going and simply let you know they are here. 

Filling the social cup means enhancing our sense of belonging and reinforcing we aren’t alone. I’m grateful to everyone who has reached out, sent messages, a gift, brought meals, baked cookies and shared cups of tea. It’s been a wonderful reminder to ensure I’m doing what I can to proactively connect with others too. They say it takes a village and we are grateful for ours - particularly in today's environment, where a sense of isolation is on the rise, being able to remain socially connected is especially crucial.

5. The Rest Cup: Knowing and Practicing Relaxation 

In a world that values achievement and productivity, it's easy to forget we also need to rest. Rest isn’t a luxury, it’s an important part of our health and well-being. Filling the Rest cup means consciously making time to slow down and relax. Right now rest looks like naps, music, cups of tea, Eloise snuggles and TV. It’s recognising the need to switch off from the neverending to do list, give your brain a break and allow yourself to do ‘nothing’. Rest does not look like scrolling. There are too many distractions on our phones to be a true break. 

Rest also involves finding activities that relax and rejuvenate you —for example, reading a book or meditating or even taking a leisurely bath. This might be a hobby for some, maybe even a creative period. I’m not there right now, but I am looking forward to when rest can look like this again too. In the meantime, another cup of tea will do just fine. The key is to listen to your body and mind and give them the rest they need. Remember, rest is not a sign of weakness but a source of strength.

Filling the Cups: Practical Tips

Identifying your cups is only the first part. Here are the practical tips for filling them. 

1. Schedule in the time: Just as you would schedule work meetings or appointments, book up your calendar with your own 'meetings' and treats. 
2. Set boundaries: Learn to say no to the things that are draining you and yes to what brings a smile to your face. Learning how to establish these boundaries will protect your time and energy. 
3. Cultivate awareness in your daily life: Engage fully in the activities you pursue. Paying attention to loved ones or going for a walk? Be present in the moment and enjoy what you are doing. 
4. Flexibility: Life can be unpredictable, so be flexible on routine self-care and try to fit in as needed—it doesn't matter as long as you are trying to fill your cups at regular intervals. 
5. Don't fear support: There is no harm in seeking support from family, friends, or a partner to help make it easier for you to prioritise your own self-care.

Conclusion: Fill Your Cups, Fuel Your Life

Filling these cups helps me stay energised, balanced, and fulfilled, even amongst the demands of raising young kids. My question to you is how do you manage your energy? What are your cups? Do you make time to fill them consciously? Or do you find yourself in cycles of burn out where you need to focus on self-repair rather than self-care? 

Do yourself a favour this week and be sure each of your cups are filled. Your energy is precious and the more effectively you can manage it, the greater your impact on those around you.